Regretting all in one state

How did I know AT&T regretted having so many people in NJ? Because the CEO told me so.

Impressive, but not so in this case. I got roped into 'Lunch with the CEO', a horrifying experience that one dreads as much as jury duty – you should want to go, but you really, really don't want to go.

'Lunch with the CEO'

'Lunch with the CEO' is a sit down lunch in the CEO's private dining room with about twenty other employees. The only thing you have in common with them is that they too are clinging with you on the same rung on the corporate ladder so very far below the CEO.

The lunch went (and evidently always went) with the CEO coming in to the dining room with all the diners already seated (Trump Apprentice style), he'd sit down and after a couple of minutes conversation about the weather, he would ask if we had any questions.

You wear a huge name tag, as if to get the conversation going. The name tag is so the CEO can stare at your chest for a moment or two then start his answer to any question you may pose with 'well Suzy, I'm glad you asked that...' You'd think he could sneak a couple of peaks at your chest while you were asking the question, but he's too busy eating. Thankful he didn't try to eat and answer Suzy's questions at the same time.

My seat mate was Suzy. Actually she posed a couple of interesting questions, unfortunately since the CEO was eating at the time, he misjudged where the voice came from. For the first question, he read my chest and then prefaced his answer with “Interesting question, Mary.” I could feel the heat as Suzy's face reddened besides me before she interrupted the CEO to say, “Sorry, that was me that asked the question.” The CEO actually took a moment to process that, although you could've easily interpret the look as the CEO giving Suzy the 'don't interupt me' stare. And sure enough after the awkward moment passed, the guy stared at her chest for a moment and then restarted the answer with “Interesting question, Suzy...”

As the CEO shook our hands as we left, he shook Suzy's hand and said 'thanks for coming', then he shook my hand and said, 'very interesting questions...(stare at my chest)...Mary.'

Ah the industry giant that he was. This was the CEO with the big ears. It was during this luncheon that I learned about AT&T's regret about putting all their headquarters and administrative buildings in one state.

Upside delusion, downside doghouse

It's true some folks, under some delusion that in a couple of years they'll be working directly for the CEO, think it's an honor to go to these luncheons. I knew nothing positive would come out of it. Even if the CEO thought my questions (I mean Suzy's) were the most insightful things he's ever heard, there'd be no 'let's give her this project to sink her teeth into', much less 'let's promote that gal with such great questions.'

There was however, possible downsides to the luncheon. If you didn't take it seriously - and that could take in a number of factors from dress, to make-up, to slang used, to not coming prepared with questions – your VP would hear about it. And the last thing a VP, who rarely ever speaks to the CEO without his executive VP present, wants a rare phone call from the CEO to be about you and your behavior at his luncheon. Most likely the call wouldn't come from the CEO himself but an assistant. But the mere thought that the CEO even thought to tell an assistant to call about an underling is traumatic.

I was prepared for the luncheon by my boss who was stunned that I got an invitation (I was never a 'golden hair' girl). The downside details were spoken to me in grave tones. My strategy going in was to simply sit there and look attentive, no questions. That was considered the safest for us all.

Calling all Ursilines

The manuscript that was edited? I was told to get a new editor.

The search for a new Ursiline, renewed. This might be worth paying $30 at one of those people search sites.

For my new friends, do a search on Ursiline. Too much to retell.

Writers' conference, that's all she wrote

"Writing workshops should make you want to write." A big thank you to Carol, one of my writing workshop mates, for telling me that last night. My internal pendulum was on a big swing on the negative side. Carol's sage thought brought it back down.

Yesterday was a pivotal workshop day for me. My manuscript was being critiqued in both of the workshops I was taking.

My morning workshop really liked the manuscript in a gentle 'needs work' kind of way. Overall, it was very positive feedback even on my faults. Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, if you can take one of her workshops do so. For me to spend part of my lunchtime after her workshop reworking my manuscript should tell you something. Her comments and the way she led the class on their comments - including mine - made a huge difference. I felt pumped leaving her workshop and I know I wasn't alone.

My other workshop is a different story. They hated the manuscript. As I'm known for exaggeration, I'll give you just a few of the critical comments given:

1. "It's just ten pages about checking into a hotel."
2. "Know nothing about the lead character and don't care to learn."
3. "The character could rent out some of her emotional space."

And these were just some of the teacher's comments! Think about it, given comment 2, does it not follow that comment 3 was directed at me. Probably not, but at the time it felt like it.

My classmates weren't any better. Yes the writer who wrote about the mother telling her daughter about her abortion for the 1,000th time hated it. The class and instructor loved her piece. The guy using yo yo tricks to kick start a homosexual relationship hated my piece. The class and instructor loved his.

I left this workshop, feeling devastated and perplexed. Luckily I stayed around for the cocktail hour and ran into Carol, the sage advice giver. I almost didn't make it into room holding the cocktail party, having to step around the afternoon workshop group just to walk into the place. But I did and soon after was feeling much better.

Writers' conference, a lot of work

I signed up for it. I paid good money for it. I've now worked my rear off for it, so I can't complain.

Let's review what work this has so far entailed:

• Rewriting, polishing and editing a 10 page manuscript (thankfully double spaced with 1.5" margins)
• Writing up a synopsis (one page summarizing 300, not as easy as it seems)
• Writing up a sales pitch (30 seconds which stumped me annoyingly for days, but now it's done)
• Researching who my instructors are (the conference notes highly suggests you do that, I don't know why when you know the first day of class they'll introduce themselves for about 10 minutes)
• And the worst part, reading and commenting on your classmates' manuscripts and synopsises.

Let's get the grammar and spelling mistakes found in my fellow students' work out of the way. When the spellchecker didn't understand you meant 'to' and not 'too', I'm guilty as much as you. When it's obvious you didn't bother to run the spellchecker is when I mind. I don't mind a few grammar mistakes sprinkled throughout, heck as long as I can read through it without having to figure out what you really meant, I'm good. It's just when you open the document in MS Word and the entire first page is underlined in green (meaning grammar errors galore or one long sentence fragment, I don't know which is worse), that I mind big time.

If English is your second language, I tried to read it in what I thinks is your first. I can do a decent job with Spanish, and the couple of the manuscripts I was able to do this with showed promise. You're talking to a woman who knows what it means to do marketing work in a locale that demands a language that isn't your first. My heart goes out to you.

The one writer that was Indian, I read just for plot. With a little more cultural information, I thought it had promise. That was the gist of my feedback. That said, get an translator/editor.

What seemed to drag me down was the topics people choose to write about. I'm a goody-two shoes queen (although I have seemed to have tarnished my crown recently by giving a quote about "papaya virgins" to a trade rag) so reading the following topics was extremely difficult even with the best writing (and no the topics weren't covered with any such skill):

• Mother telling her daughter why she got an abortion. The story ends noting that it was probably the 30th time she had been told about it.
• A gay guy tries to flirt with another guy (sexual orientation unknown) by teaching him yo yo tricks. Were there sexual innuendos abound in the tricks? Don't know. My comments were rather tame in the hopes that the author stays mum about such things during the class.
• Princess Diana didn't die, she had a terminally ill patient 'sit' in for her. You'll be glad to know that she was able to go to her son's wedding.

Conference starts on Wednesday, meeting Cheryl and hubby for dinner Tuesday night. I'm excited.

Taken away

I heard my boss call 911 and knew an ambulance was coming for a good friend at work. He has a history of heart problems so it wasn't that surprising. Knowing the guy, I knew he hated the fuss.


So instead of checking on him and probably crowding into the room where he works with eleven other people, I went out to the entrance to flag down the ambulance. The one productive thing I could do.


Walking past them onto the gravel path that leads to the parking lot, I heard the not so faint sound of the siren start. It didn't fade into hearing. It just started. The fire house being just over a mile away, I knew the truck was coming for my friend.

In flat Miami, streets are straight and long. In the distance came a black bubble. It seemed like a long time coming, but they made it and about 30 minutes later they left with my friend on a stretcher. He was sitting up, almost looking like he was sitting on a tall chaise lounge by the pool. It cheered me a little. And he is doing better, although still in the ICU.

I went back to work. I emptied the worry out of my mind and let work fill it. It's what kept me sane on 9/11. I made myself productive both times and many other times.


If you allow it, work can make you feel productive not so helpless at times like this; even mindless tasks accomplishes something. If you can't do anything about the larger picture, it helps to some impact on even a much, much smaller part.


Work is resilient. Someone leaves temporarily or permanently, intentionally or unintentionally and work will engulf the vacant spot. No one ever really fills the void the exact same way. Work changes around it, whether a factor of personality, skills, different expectations or shifting demands. Given time it's no longer a void, the ex-employee would no longer fit in the way they once did.


Maybe that's why I almost always do the work that I would've done on a vacation before vacation. I don't want my void filled while I'm gone. Not that any one's looking to fill my void, it's just a void is like a vacuum; the nature of work will always work to fill it. I guess I'm a little scared that I won't fit in upon my return.


You can be an alcoholic without binging. So I may represent the true definition of a workaholic. The actual number of hours worked matters little. The level of social life outside of work isn't the biggest factor. How much you need the mental stimulation found at work may be the key.



Today I needed the stimulation to avoid worrying. Tomorrow I'll go back to simply craving the stimulation.



Do I need a hobby. Why can't work be a hobby?

Question 3 of your FAQs:

What happened to Ursiline?
Adding to the corporate cultural quirks, no AT&Ter asked the question for the answer is a given.

That's because during AT&T's heyday in the 90's there were over 120,000 employees in the state of New Jersey.* NJ's not a huge state. Think of how many buildings were required to house that many people. Think of Holmdel, the huge monolithic AT&T Labs building where you could line two football fields up in its atrium. The football fields don't even count for the offices that branched out from the atrium.

The building was so huge that newcomers to that building would park their car on one end of the building not realizing the person's office they were visiting was on the other side of the building. After the meeting, looking for a fast exit out of the dark and deary place, the person would rush to the closest exit then spend a half an hour in the wrong parking lot looking for their car. If the golf carted parking security guard didn't notice them, the Holmdel police would call the guard to go pick up the person who called in the 'stolen vehicle' report.

So the answer to the question of Ursiline's current whereabouts is: I have no idea. I would've had a hard time finding her two years after the project with the company splintering in so many ways: mobile, cable, NCR (we bought'em then pushed them off), Lucent Technologies, Avaya..., each with their own 'headquarters' - HR, marketing and R&D to name only a few.

To say I asked a current employee to check the various and asundry directories to find her would mean asking them to put their job on the line. So let's just say hypothetically, she wasn't found.

I googled her. Unlike Cher, the Ursiline I knew didn't come up. I didn't know there were nuns named Ursulines, now I do.

I'd feel bad for her, but know I'm in the same situation. My 'secret' co-worker that gave me the choice of receiving the project cancellation via email or by paper has - over time - occasionally probably wondered what happened to me. In theory he could go back to our old cubicle city, but not only am I long gone but so are you - moves, new positions within the company, retirements and yes ex-employees.

*In time, AT&T would regret this huge concentration of employees for the mere fact of representation. Oh sure, you got both ears of the NJ governor and the state's delegates to Congress, but what interest would the Texas delegation have in talking with you? Sure you have sales offices all over the state, just like IBM, HP, etc. But IBM and HP had administrative offices. More numbers, more votes, more ears. It's true we had lots of central offices for all the networking equipment, but central offices don't vote.

Question 2 of your FAQs:

Question 2 of your FAQs: Why would I work on a project that my VP cancelled?
First off I hadn't been officially told of the cancellation. The VP thought someone in another division was participating not me. The other group got the cancellation memo and let me know. They gave me the option of receiving an email of the memo (paper trail) or picking up a copy. I choose to pick one up, meaning I never officially got the memo. I wasn't being obstinate; I was buying time.

HR had picked up 5% of my headcount for the project and in a land where a lay-off was never that far off, you make it harder for them to lay you off if you're working for three groups (not for any reason that I was so unreplaceable that three groups had dibs on me, but because it made for a lot of paperwork of the kind that made the people doing the lay-offs move on). Also the fact that one of your three groups was HR was a big bonus. HR never lays-off.

I need to explain the other two groups: one a marketing division and the other an R&D division. I would've loved to worked entirely for the R&D division but they weren't suppose to have marketing people working for them, plus their offices were near the expensive Jersey shore. I would've never been able to afford a house there.

For almost twenty years I worked for one R&D VP who always had the lead on new products and services. Much more exciting to work a launch on workflow automation, web site hosting, application programs, etc. than to work a new T1 line that has exciting asymetrical data push (vs symmetrical, trust me that was exciting for the T1 crowd). T1 is a big thick cable that is used from a business to the local central office. Chances are your office uses T1s for phones and data.

The R&D VP picked up between 40-49% of my headcount, never more than 49%. If the percent went greater than 49 then he would have to claim one whole marketing headcount when he wasn't suppose to have a marketing headcount.

So the other percent was picked up over time by various and asundry marketing VPs. In R&D when funding issues came up, you discussed dollars. In marketing, you discussed headcount. And the talk wasn't about, heah Sam you have 30 headcount and you only need 29. It was more, Sam you're a VP what are you doing if you only have 30 headcounts. Such a small group can be merged into another VP's division. We don't need you.

So the reason why the marketing VP got so mad at the HR VP was that HR took their 5% headcount off of marketing books. In effect the marketing VP lost a headcount. Never good. By ignoring the cancellation, it bought HR time to do the paperwork to move the 5% onto the R&D books. Everybody gets happy.

Woody Allen was wrong. Just showing up for work isn't 80% of the job.

Who said it had to make sense?

Question 1 of your FAQs

When hosting a party you should either invite all AT&Ters or no more than a quarter AT&Ters. Mostly because if we talk about work, it's incomprehensible. So don't talk about work? We find it hard not to do, for me even seven years after taking early retirement.

Question 1 of your FAQs: What happened to the journal?
I saw what was supposed to be the finished piece. The 'journal entries' were typed in a handwriting font that third grade teachers would use on posters over their chalkboards to show how to write in script. Each 'entry' was typeset on what looked to be a yellow post-it note that hung at a slant in the margins of the overall brochure. I didn't recognize my writing, which I expected. And I didn't recognize the events 'detailed' which I don't know why I did expect. Including the dates, there were about 250 words used. I hope Ursiline wasn't paid by the word.

At the time it ignited a guessing game for what Ursiline had actually done. I contend that the project actually started as this big journal thing and over the year it got whittled done to six post-it notes. When I think of how many of my projects started big and just dissipated, this is the most viable answer.

Common sense didn't stop other guesses. Guess two was that Ursiline was actually doing a study on how marketing people work and may have submitted the findings as proof of marketing inefficiencies and the need to lay-off marketing people in general.

The third and final guess was that Ursiline had a crush on me.

I know for a fact that she had a pet rat

Apparently Ursiline requires further explanation. She always did.

I saw photos of the rat, in his cage with the same drip water bottle that hamsters have (before you ask, rats don't like hamster wheels). I saw a photo of the rat being cuddled by Ursiline, and it was too close to her face for my comfort.

The photos were too real to fake.

I did not, however, see a photo of the dead rat for which I am grateful. However, this raises a doubt that I would submit to you as proof of Ursiline's genius.

Just the facts:
Here's what we know of Ursiline. Every Friday for a year, she met with me to go over my journal. For the first six weeks (I may be off a couple of weeks) she wore clothes in a rainbow of colors. One time she turned many a head when she managed to pack every known color into one shoulder-to-toe jumper. Then one Friday, when I wasn't expecting her, she showed up in black.

Because some of us worked in the same cubicle city, you could tell this story as well as I. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Of course the first thing you're going to ask is why she wore black. With that question, she broke down and sobbed about her pet rat dying. It took an hour to comfort her and for Ursiline to pull herself together.

She wore black every week after that until the unfortunate color-coordination incident* when she changed to white.

The white-clad Ursiline got the journal finished. Ursiline completed the project, dragging me over the finish line with it.

Hypothesis
Remember the day Ursiline first showed up in black, I wasn't expecting her because my VP had gotten mad at the HR VP and canceled the project.

When Ursiline did show up, I concluded that she hadn't gotten the memo. Distracted by her pet rat news, I waited to tell her about the cancellation. When I did, she got even more upset. The project was important to her, there was no longer a living being (yeah, rats are a living being) that truly cared for her, was it asking too much to share my thoughts with her, etc. etc. I said I'd do it considering it didn't take much effort for me to do the journal. Ursiline took truly raw material (my hand-written Bell Lab books) and made it happen.

My theory is that Ursiline knew the project was canceled and did the theatrical performance of the year to convince me to stay on the project. She stayed in black (or at least during our meetings, since her HR office was miles away) just in case I wanted to back out.

Just like I was and still am proud of my ability to get marketing materials created, completed and distributed, I believe Ursiline did what she had to do to get the journal started, edited and distributed. I doubt anything short of what she did could've saved the project.

Her true genius showed in her selection of what or who died. Had she said her husband we would've wondered why she was still at work. A cousin, I would have been suspicious of the long-term wearing of black clothes. But her pet rat that I had seen such loving photos of, well that was so odd but so fit Ursiline. That it made it perfect.

I did ask her if Ursiline was her first name or last. I wasn't being catty. AT&T's email names held to the formula of firstname.lastname@att.com. Ursiline's email was simply mailto:ursiliene@att.com. In answer to my question, she told me it was both first and last like Cher. That was Ursiline.

*Months into the project, I thought I could help Ursiline back on track at least clothing wise. She claimed she wasn't in mourning clothing any more. Ursiline felt that black just fit her mood. And yes her mood was black because of her missing pet rat. I suggested, in a very nice way I thought, that she should think about wearing white because her pet rat (I can't remember its name) was white. (Here's where we disagree) she didn't take offense at my suggestion but did take offense at the suppressed laughter heard in cubicle city when she said “who's ever heard of wearing clothes to match your rat?”

Aptly named - writing conference

Going to a writers' conference is a great idea. I did have my doubts as the reality of it hit me last week. Before going to a writing conference, you send in some of your work. With tomorrow's deadline approaching, I had to work hard to submit the required writing samples.

It was a bit of a scramble. So excited about the conference that will bring some friends to Miami and breathe some fresh air into my writing, I forgot about the writing samples.

It's not a conference you would pick for me. I'm not a novelist, short story writer or poet. Yet I've found creative writing classes spark my writing like no copy writing course could do. True I have only taken two copy writing classes, but they involved what can only be described as formulas - the demon of any writing style.

Formulas make writing predictable, the last thing I need after years of business writing, brochure writing, marketing updates. I learned quite well how to conform to an AT&T standard that would get the job done. Good yes, but what toll it takes on the writing. I remember my mom calling one night to ask if I was mad at her. She read a recent letter back to me; the words weren't the issue but the business tone that dominated the note was. I signed up for a creative writing class within a week.

Creative conference - good idea. Assuming I could just open up an old document to send was a bad idea. The novel written over five years ago wasn't a quick 'send as an attachment.'

It was more like a demolition with new construction. But I was still doing good time wise. The synopsis took more time than I wanted. Time was still good that is until the question of editing came up.

I thought I knew the answer. I wanted feedback from my classmates and instructors about my writing not an editor's version of my writing. So the unedited but carefully groomed ten page manuscript was sent for classmates and instructors. Then I started the debate about what to do with the manuscript that would be read by a book agent.

You read right, book agent. By signing up for the full conference, you got a free manuscript review by your choice of a book agent or book publisher. I would've declined but what feedback carries more weight than whether or not your book is publishable?

Suddenly my well groomed manuscript looked a bit scruffy. Even in the notes of the conference they tell you to submit 'edited' manuscripts.

I have used an editor before, the year I was selected by human resources at AT&T to write a journal about my exciting marketing career at the firm (I still squirm to think that some college recruit signed up because of my prose). Some of you met Ursiline, the gal who had a tough mourning period when her pet rat died (I believe accidentally extinguished by the Orkin guy). Who says HR doesn't know how to pick'em. But then again they picked me. Oh yeah, then again they picked me.

Not knowing if Ursiline was her first or last name was one of several reasons I didn't try to find her for this assignment. I'd look elsewhere. My Ft. Lauderdale writing group has editors eager to come talk to us. But they come prepared with PowerPoint presentations with bullet-pointed lists on how to get published. Maybe it does all come down to formulas and I just don't know it.

So I went to my proofreader - a web site aptly named proofreadnow.com for I've never heard of anyone that wanted something proofread tomorrow. Sure enough, one of the proofreaders edits. She would've sent me samples but there was no time.

Her edits came back Friday. I finished the manuscript and synopsis about an hour ago. Before any sort of self-congratulation sets in, I remembered that tomorrow will be the day that I'll get all my classmates' manuscripts to read and comment on before the conference.

The process of critique, part 2

In discussing this with two bell-shaped heads (someone who works or has worked at AT&T, bell-shaped referring to the old logo) and a regular shaped head, the bell shaped heads totally agree this post is crucial. The regular shaped head, I'm sure, is still sitting at her laptop with her jaw on her chest.

So to those who work in a less dysfunctional firm, ignore this post.

We're talking about getting approval for your creative. You've got the creative all together; time to get it approved in-house.

RULE 1: Get individual approvals first from people you already know how they would react (good or bad). They become your references while you practice your approval speel.

RULE 2: The higher up you can go expecting a positive result, the better. Nothing says 'heel' to an erratic underling better than saying "your VP gave his thumbs up." Go high even expecting rotten results, no better reason for a 'do over' than a VP to say 'no go.' But if you can walk away with a doable 'to change' list from that dissenting VP you can work everyone underneath.

The other reason to go high early is that VPs have a fantastic view. High up, they see the bigger picture. And they'll truly listen to any rationale you have to why it is what it is. And if you listen, you'll get a glimpse of the larger picture. I've walked away from a Director meeting with an approval but I did it over just based on the feedback. I saw how the piece could be so much stronger. I love hitting bullseye, even if it's more work.

RULE 3: Never accept a blanket, "this sucks." Make the person detail exactly what they don't like about it. Unless they have their own agenda, I can almost guarantee you can walk away with a doable action plan.

RULE 4: Expect meeting-goer attempts to derail. You're in a meeting and someone not on your approval gives the creative a blanket "this sucks" and then refuses to discuss saying it's not the time or place. This is a bully tactic. Practice what you'll say because you have to act fast and speak loud, something along the lines of "you're right it's not the time or the place, so I'll disregard your comment." The naysayer has an agenda that probably has nothing to do with the creative, make him or her come to you and establish why they should have input.

RULE 5: Most importantly, this should be number one but I don't have time to renumber, be open to feedback even if it sets you back, even if you can't act on it.

RULE 6: Make people give you feedback. People are busy, sometimes it matters little to them what the web site says. If you get what you think is a no response, bring up something you think they may not like about it. Get them talking.

The process of critique, part 1

Sometimes pulling together all the images, all the text, all the photos in a format that sells your company or your product is the easy part. Getting others to see it as the way to go can be the hard part.

My life is much easier in this aspect in my current job than at AT&T where it could take weeks to get a brochure, a postcard, a website, a press release approved. Sometimes I can get something approved in a couple of minutes at Brooks.

There were 3 scenarios at AT&T.

1. An advertising agency was getting your okay on their work.
2. You were getting your work approved in-house to be printed, posted, emailed, etc.
3. You were in the approval process for a co-worker's work.

The first should be the easiest right? Wrong. This will sound like I'm bitter at first, but I actually understand why it has to be. An ad agency sees time as money. If they said they would present three drafts, you'll get three draft lay-outs. Chances are the last one they show you is the one they're going to sell you on.

There's a reason why your agency's account representative is a salesperson. Not only do they need to get your business but they need for their company to make a profit on your business. A sales victory is coming back with a sign-off on the draft that they've pushed and with very few changes.

A good agency will have a draft proposal that truly fits your business, your product. Sometimes you need to be sold on the idea because you're too close to the business/product to see how will the proposal fits. It's awesome when the agency hits a bullseye and you their customer knows it.

Good example: Some years ago I was pulling together the marketing campaign to interest application developers into developing applications for the AT&T Lotus Notes Network. Most agencies would've come back with some Star Track theme, but this agency came back with a 70's retro look and feel to all the individual components. Our target market were baby boomers that would remember (or not so clearly remember) their youth in that decade. The killer piece of collateral was a tie-dyed t-shirt that was mailed out if the developer requested an information kit. We had to reprint the info kit twice and beg the tie-dyed t-shirt man to go back to the vats.

Bad example: Post - AT&T I worked for a technology solutions company. The firm needed a presentation folder and the agency presented 3 lay-outs, each fraught with problems.

One lay-out showed a close-up of a dot matrix computer cable, there are people in the workplace that don't even know what those printers are. But our customers would recognize it as old, not old technology or old hardware, but an out-of-date cord.

To my horror, I realized the agency was pushing for the lay-out with an abstract concept that I'm not even sure they grasped. The front was a copy of the artwork that shows a business suited man with a apple instead of his face. That was it and that alone was enough to scrap it. The fact that the company didn't work with Apple computers didn't dawn on them yet a simple perusal of the reception area with IBM and HP logos stood would have told them enough.

Sometimes agencies are eager to get their collateral pieces in glossy trade magazines, the apple-headed man stood a chance of getting in the next quarterly read by potential clients.

To me a company's presentation folder should reflect exactly what the salesperson would be saying as he or she kick starts their sales presentation with their arm outstretched to the customer with presentation folder in hand. I couldn't see any salesperson starting their sales talk with "it's like wearing an apple for your head."

Please note: Coming from such a large company like AT&T, my experiences with ad agencies are distorted. I never selected an agency out of the blue. I was usually told which one I was allowed to work with. Before an AT&T-approved ad agency could even talk to me, they were given overall marketing strategies that were boiled down to certain formats the agency could use in pulling together work for my product or service. The agency's allegiance was never with me but with the corporate marketing group that allowed them to do work on my product or service.

Making set formats for 1,000s of AT&T products and services is tough. The year they decided to go with a format that included polka dots prominently displayed on a black background on the collateral's front cover or main piece was the worse. I was allowed to choose the color of the polka dot. I choose dark gray for all my products. Luckily I had most of my collateral thru the presses before I was called on it. The light and airy look they wanted with pinks, yellows and lime greens took on a more industrial look with my grays. My Product Managers and sales teams loved it. I was in the corporate marketing dog house - never a good place to be - until someone saner came in and banished the dots.

Note in passing: Sometimes getting what I needed from an ad agency was fighting an uphill battle. Most of the time, ad agencies - regardless of how much leeway time you gave them - would give you one lay-out in a timeframe that gave you just enough time to get it approved, hence no big changes. That would happen only once with an agency. I always had plan B, sometimes using my own lay-out and printing a small run on a local printing press to give me more time. Or plan C, tell them my deadline was sooner. Once an agency was on to my using one option, I had to move to the other. Kind of pathetic, but life in a big corporation meant doing pathetic things - at times.

more to come...

The new papaya box

The new papaya box is coming along with strange-to-me twists along the way.

Because I didn't want to throw cold water on the full color box option, I pulled together 10 lay-outs. 7 were my own and 3 were a graphic designer's which I've pulled in to help. The lay-outs ranged from three color to full process color.

The first 'winner' of the above lot was this one (one of mine, I might add). I love the dynamic wave that seems to rush out at you while passing to the other side of the box. I was thrilled that they like the abstract papaya; it hasn't been that long since we use a rather 'botanical' illustration for our advertising.

It turns out my boss hates red. He wanted more white space, and way less red. The 'Caribbean Red' header was too fancy, more sophisticated was what they wanted.

I'm always amazed at what comes out of my mouth during such times when I'm arguing for a particular design. It's all the unconscious logic that bubbles up. In a casual conversation, had you asked me 5 minutes before why I choose the font I probably would have shrugged my shoulders. But in the meeting when the 'chocolate' font - so aptly named, don't you think - was being ousted, out of my mouth came "don't forget we need a font that helps make 2 words one. Truly sophisticated fonts won't often do that." Then I made him think of art deco and how an art deco font wouldn't pull two words together. There is a reason why art deco hotels over on South Beach have only word to their names. The chocolate font is history but super elite fonts won't be on the box either.

I walked away thinking we were still on solid ground, lots of nits but all doable. It turns out I wasn't as far down the path as I thought.

I got my super graphic artist back involved and he churned out these three drafts. Why he had to play around with the papaya, I don't know. I got it approved, move on. Header approved, my papaya remained approved, other nits like the word 'papayas' too big all fixable. Yet my boss wanted more white space and I was losing the wave dynamic.

The graphic artist whipped out three new lay-outs. The one with all the white space I thought would get my boss to eagerly jump on the wave bandwagon. Turns out he loves it.

However, the VP of National Sales showed it to his wife and another woman. God bless them, they love the wave!

Meanwhile I was intrigued by the whisper of the wave in the third option.

Big boss was wavering but had ideas. VP of National sales had ideas. More ideas meant back to the drawing board. I left the graphic artist out of it. We were back to doing some rough drafts.

So I did these with varying saturations of red, color opaqueness.

I'm not liking this.

These are their ideas. The first shows 'waves' that will go between boxes while they're on a pallet.

The second and third pull in the graphic design from my factsheets.

I'm not handling the approval process very well. We are nowhere yet so much ground has been covered.

Parting comment, PhotoShop World

I can't leave the subject of PhotoShop World without detailing the insightful comment made at the "I'm a Stranger" dinner.

This was a group of folks like myself that are finding the world of marketing collapsing or imploding with a single person's area of expertise covering much, much more. Software like the Adobe suite and the internet are allowing use to broaden not only how we work but compelling us to do so much more.

Yes in large companies you still have a PR group, marketing communications group, advertising group, marketing strategy group, product marketing groups, etc. Of course in small companies, one person does it all. But it's truly phenomenal that in medium sized firms that one person or a couple of folks can do so much, so fast, so effectively.

For example, before I left for PhotoShop World, I was told that when I got back I needed to change a photo of a box of Caribbean Sunrise papayas for a flyer to go out to customers. The color on the fruit was too yellow; it should be greener. Within an hour, I took several photos and got the okay on one and PhotoShopped it to get into the flyer. Created the jpeg and pdf and I was done. One hour in 2009 would have been a couple of weeks 5 years ago.

The insightful comment was:

With everyone doing everything you'll have to pay a lot to get a specialist to make something fantastic. Or choose the 'jack-of-all' and get something that's not fantastic but does the job nicely for a lot less.

Is marketing evolving to be mediocre?

Parting comment, Boston 2

My last post made me think of something I want to share.

While eating at restaurant in Harvard Square where I ate on a long narrow table facing outward about 1.5 stories above street level, I conversed with a fellow long-narrow-table eater while we both 'people watched.'

We watched a woman literally run helter-skelter down the street and into the liquor store just across the street from where we sat. She quickly made her purchase and exited only to run back and turn on a side road into the Cambridge suburbs.

My eating companion said, "I wonder what made her do that?"

I know of one scenario for I've done the very same thing and I'm racking my brain to remember if it's the same liquor store.

My Boston true love's sister and brother-in-law lived in a 200 year old Cambridge home. I was to meet them for the first time at their house for dinner. I volunteered to bring the dinner's wine. Yes I forgot the wine and only recalled it sitting at the dining room table seated next to the room's open hearth slightly warmed by the one log fire. When I realized why we weren't drinking any alcohol, I jumped up and said the wine was out in the car. True love said by the incredibly short time he took to remember we came by subway not by car, I had already turned the corner on the way to the liquor store.

True love's brother-in-law now teaches at some mid-west university, otherwise I might have tried to find them the other night.

Parting comment, Boston

Boston is so into its colonialism. Move the revolution to another town and even a Celtic would fear the loss of its soul. The only place more modern day 'colonial' is Williamsburg and they charge for it.

I spent a lot of time in this town I call one of my global favorites. The two years I worked in the AT&T/Lotus partnership (yes spreadsheet and notes Lotus) created most of the time. It didn't hurt that one of the big loves of my life I met and dated in Boston.

That said, I call into evidence yet more proof that Boston is nutso about its colonial past. What you see is a photo of a wall in my tiny hotel room. On the other side of the room was a great reading chair with ottoman but no reading light. To the Bostonian interior decorator, it was more important to put two huge 'colonial' scones over the dresser. A tiny bit of me believes the decorator had the thought "they didn't have floor lamps in colonial days. Our guests will be able to read by sconce light."

Had a burglar burst in the room, I would've pulled a sconce off the wall to hit the intruder. If two huge scones weren't enough light, there was a recessed light in the ceiling above.

OBTW, those are 100 watt 'candle' like light bulbs in those sconces. Turn them on and I instantly knew how it felt to be a deer in the headlights.

Creating a light table

I must have sounded pathetic in one of my recent blog posts. Thanks for the calls. How pathetic can I be with such good friends.*

I really like my light table and feel I didn't do it justice on the last posting. I'm such a bigger is better person. I photograph big papayas and the rinky-dink and expensive 'light tables' - which are no more a table than a college dictionary-sized book - won't work. I seen several pro photographers attempt to perch our huge Caribbean Reds on an 8.5x11 'light table'; this time I am right - bigger is better.

What siren call did I answer to embark on the creation of a light table?** This is the year that I must redo our avocado brochure. It's the brochure as a company we don't want to print, raising eyebrows as we admit there are over 70 different varieties that can be sold as a SlimCado vs. here are your SlimCados, yeah they come in different shapes, sizes and tastes. Who wants to be the salesperson that is forced to sell by variety.***

The brochure itself is rather monotonous, show a photo of each variety, name it, show when in season and give a brief description. However unexciting it may be graphically, it is a popular piece of collateral. And we are running out of the ONE color brochure. Yes one color, it's that old it is. Are there any one color printing presses still out there?****

What's so difficult?** Do a photo shoot, take photos of all the avocados. Not so fast. The avocados are available at different times during the season. For a full color brochure I will need to get the lighting, the angle of photography, the distance from camera to avocado, the exposure, and the focus all the same for each avocado. Either that or do a lot of work in PhotoShop (the positive to that is that I will learn the 3D feature in the application). OMG, I just had an epiphany - what a fantastic idea to do the brochure in one color!

Given all the above, given my ace photographers are not located in Miami (I miss Heather and Dan I've never met face-to-face) and given that I have quashed the thought of overnighting each avocado to them as they become available, I must find a way to do this series of shoots on my own.
I've cordoned off a space in a spare bedroom to do this. The space and equipment will stay put throughout the season. All that's needed are the avocados, which I will carefully place on their marks, turn on the lights, fidget with the camera settings and shoot.

Sounds easy yet I doubted my ability to do it, hence why I set it up so far in advance (avocado season starts in May).

1. Where do I start?***** Lately it's where I always start...the IKEA catalog! I must post panoramic shots of my new IKEA kitchen; but I digess. I'm going to take overhead shots of the avocados. I want no shadows to have to delete in PS. Hence the need for a low light table, like an end table. I found an end table with a glass top and shelf underneath. I would give you the IKEA item number, but they change merchandise so much it's useless.

2. Need the light. Most light tables use florescent because the long bulbs distribute the light from end-to-end on the light table. It's true you want diffused light, but I want to go incandescent so I took apart an existing floor lamp (Wal-Mart $10) and got light bulb, electrical encasement and switch, and cord. I'm kidding myself if I think I went cheap. The floor lamp I replace this one with will be much more expensive. I'm sure a trip to Lowe Home will get you the same for even less. I put the business end of the lamp straight up on the lower shelf (my table has a 'wooden' 2nd shelf so I had to drill a big hole).

3. Surrounded the light with reflective surfaces. Aluminum foil on the shelf and foil poster boards the size of the distance between bottom shelf and glass shelf. Taped the sized poster boards together on the ends to form a 2D box the width and depth of the end table.

4. Bought opaque plexi-glass in 1/8th width sheets cut to the size of the end table's glass top. This way instead of buying 1/2" and having too little light come through, I can build up the plexi-glass to get the amount of light desired.

5. Clamped on two cheap desk lamps, yes IKEA. The cheaper the better, since cheap desk lamps only allow you low wattage bulbs.

6. Bought clip on diffusers for the desk lamps, but found that I also need my 'camera shoot' tent. Turns out there's a lot of light to diffuse, avocados are very shiny.

7. Bought a tripod that can hang the camera out and over the light table. This was probably the most expensive item but it's so reusable.

8. Tried it out and found the need for a photographic stand sandbag to keep the camera from slicing out of thin air and making guacamole.

I'm ready for the SlimCado season.


* My punctuation day-by-day calendar spent two weeks on the use of question marks on rhetorical questions. I can't remember its use. The footnoted sentence shows either my obstinence in learning or that I have absorbed it and can't remember doing so. No phone calls please, I know this is pathetic in and of itself.
**This is not rhetorical.
*** Obviously rhetorical.
****So rhetorical yet the '?' makes it so compelling.
*****clueless

Cutting off the nose to spite the marketer

A PhotoShop World conferencee reported an extreme attitude taken by the speaker in a session called "Working with a digital photographer."

Apparently the speaker didn't cover how to work together to get the best shoots for your marketing work. The guy went on a tirade on how marketing people muck up his work. Beyond some general information before the shoot, the marketer should sit quietly in the background in the shoot (if they have to be there at all) and joyfully accept the photos as received.

I was shocked only that PhotoShop World allowed someone with this attitude to present. I wasn't shocked by his attitude. I had sparked this behavior with my local photographer.

I had a run-in with a photographer who wouldn't take a photo of the whole fruit. The photos were great, at the right angle, against a white background, etc. But he cropped each and every photo when I asked him not to. I wanted to use the photos in more than one piece of marketing collateral.

"But the ad you're working on is this shot" he waved his hand submissively. It's true the ad cropped the bottom of the papaya but I wanted a shot of the whole papaya. When I reminded him of my request (and the emails that said as much), he said that he shoots for the ad and that if I needed another shot, he'll shoot that.

"For additional cost!" I said emphatically.

"The photo is perfect, why are you complaining" he retorted.

"You shot the whole fruit. I saw it in your viewfinder. If you want to get paid, I get the image file with the entire fruit."

To get paid, he sent over a jpeg. I waited. Finally he sent the raw file, with a note "next time you don't come to the shoot."

There wasn't a next time. I signed up for a digital photography class the next day. I showed up for the class and guess who was the instructor. I went to another class, and another, and another. I'm not great but I can hammer out 90% of what I need. And when I give myself attitude, I go pour the photographer a glass of wine.

Photography is not that difficult. I won't win awards, although I did win a class award for 'most improved'. Given that I never owned (and still don't, I use the company's camera) a 35mm camera, that's pretty good.

What I learned at PhotoShop World

The most important things I'm taking back with me from PhotoShop World. The list varies from things not so new and so new they're hot.

1. The new context scaling is great. You pick out what you want to emphasize and then enlarge or reduce everything else. How many times have I pulled the important item out of a scene and then had to clone, heal, etc. to get the background just right behind it. This new tools does a brilliant job of changing the background without the hassle.

2. You can make a selection and then use clone, blur, etc. within the selection. The selection won't let you go out of it.

3. Curves is more user intuitive with the simple addition of a button. I can't tell you how many times I go into curves and spend the first minute or two trying to remember how to use it. As time goes by I use curves less and less, when curves should be used over all the other adjustment layers.

4. OnOne software - Mask Pro- you can group your keep/delete colors. Hold down the alt or option button when using the keep eyedropper and you'll get an average color. No, this software's tutorials don't cover it all. Fantastic software, lousy documentation.

5. HDR and panoramas are not just for whooped up photos. There's a lot to be gained for everyday commercial use. HDR should be done, 3 shoots each, and used to bring in highlights or details not available in just one shot's exposure.

6. Smart Objects, I know last year's show jammed it down my throat and I didn't listen, maybe this year.

7. Video and Photoshop, all of a sudden I'm feeling my mini videos are doable.

8. Site Grinder - gotta get. Forget Dreamweaver.

9. Puppet tool - it may be the feature that gets me into After Effects.

10. When there's no tripod around, shoot over your shoulder. Maybe I can finally get sharp photos of fruit in the cooler.

11. Dodge and burn tools have always seemed heavy handed. A little knowledge of the color wheel goes a long way in acheiving the same things with some masking and painting brushing. Is an area too bright, on a new layer paintbrush with white and play with opacity and blend modes (color, luminosity and hue) to get it just right. Too much yellow in a photo, paint with cyan on a new layer. Yellow being on the opposite side of the color wheel as cyan.

12. Go the next step with Bridge. I use Bridge to find artwork but don't use the keywords/metadata capabilities. A couple of seconds on each image and I'd be set. Sounds like a New Year's resolution.

The social side of PhotoShop World

I didn't realize how much I miss my life in New Jersey. Life in rural and small Homestead is taking its toll; I thought I was handling it well. Up here in Boston, I've been like a kid in a candy store.

I don't sit, I've been on the run. Any spare time from the conference and I'm out of here doing something. Tuesday night, I took the subway to Harvard and wandered one of my favorite bookstores, the Harvard Co-op. I bought a poetry book for goodness sake. Then I had a great dinner overlooking Harvard square. I forgot what I ate but remembered 'people watching' over a slow glass of wine.

Wednesday night, I signed up for a meet-up dinner with strangers. To meet up, we all wore buttons that said "I'm a stranger." Having dinner with people, marketing people, like myself was fantastic. I talked so much, I think I bordered on being obnoxious. More on that in another post.

Tonight, the last conference session ended at 7:15pm. I had been at it since 8:15 in the morning, but I couldn't stay in the hotel. I grabbed the subway and headed to Fannuel Hall, Boston's colonial area. A light rain was falling, and a not so great lobster dinner didn't dampen my spirits.

I had lunch today with a conferencee. Within a couple of minutes, she realized what a great time I was having and asked why I wasn't stay a couple of extra days. All my concerns, things-to-do, worries rushed back to me. I've got so many irons in the fire. What you see in the blog is only the tip, big tip, but tip of the iceberg.

I've got a dream job, if only it was in the Northeast. I wonder how to make it different. I've assumed that I only need to get over some hurdles back home for me to get back on track. I was actually looking forward to this weekend to make some gains on my to-do list. I now question whether I'll get over this feeling of being overwhelmed.

It was twenty some years that I ignored my past.
Just escaped knowing I would be pulled back.
With a job I love, in a town that deserves the same.
I've unwrapped it all finding it's all been tamed.

PhotoShop World

My main goal has been to figure out what's new with CS4 and even what's in the Adobe Master Collection that I have no clue about.

Turns out a lot. I can only come away knowing it can be done with the software and that somewhere in some expensive 'how - to' book, I can figure out how to do it.

Context scaling, Puppet tool, the list goes on. PhotoShop is the first stop 'shop' to do flash, video, video effects, et.al. You start in PhotoShop and then take it to one of the other applications. The going forward orders is for PhotoShop to take on more and more of the other applications' capabilities.

I hope it's not like taking PhotoShop into Flash. That's rough. Image sizes huge, clean selections made in PhotoShop are jagged in Flash, and I can list more.

I now know why the Flash CS4 interface is SO different. Adobe decided it should look more like After Effects. Hello?

However, I need to start working in simple video. And I see the potential. I can't wait to give it a try.

The conference has been well worth the money. I just gotta use all of it to make it worth the company's money.

Web 2.0 tools - part one

Whenever I'm in my car, I listen to podcasts: Grammar Girl, PhotoShop 101, the Digital Photographer and a number of podcasts that deal with the 2.0 web.

Except for the latter, I assume podcasting is an outlet for building an audience for a book or selling a book. Podcasts dealing with the 2.0 web are a totally different animal; these folks are drumming up business for their consulting firms (PR or companies devoted to 2.0 web). That's as good as any reason for creating podcasts. However, I'm beginning to hear disjointed content during these 2.0 web podcasts.

It started back in December with two of the hosts for Internet Marketing agreeing that job seekers during interviews should ask if the company prohibits use of social networks during work. If the answer is yes, no social networking then walk.

I actually rewound (or whatever the verb is for going backwards on a podcasting being listened to on an iphone) and listened again to make sure I heard what I thought.

A couple of shows later, I'm hearing the hosts regretfully passing on their condolences to their listeners who want the hosts to follow they the listener on twitter, myspace...you can fill in the blank. Although the hosts repeatedly say how badly they feel and how little time they have to do so, you know their 'presence' on twitter, myspace...you can fill in the blank is purely business oriented. Places for their listener to follow their show, or more precisely help them build the host's celebrity.

The hosts use the social networks to build 'internecking' or rubbernecking on the internet. Instead of an accident, it's the host's 2.0 web business that the host wants others to obsessively watch as they go on their merry way down the electronic highway.

But yet the hosts of all these shows scream on top of their digital podiums that social networking must be recognized and entered into by your everyday non tech business. It's doom for those who don't. And a lack of transparency if you don't directly interact and just put up a company myspace page.

These podcasting hosts see their use of social networking as the creation of depositories for interaction with them. Not a bad gig if you can get it, I say.

But what does it mean for us, the average marketer.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

The salesman's dirty little ploy, part 2

My senses were right, I've been charred.

My folks so badly want a beautiful full color box that my boss has questioned where I got the salesperson's name. "Was it really the right salesperson?" Although he politely asked, I feel bad. Worse than the question, I felt like he questioned why I called the salesperson in the first place.

I am charred. I'll put together several proposals, at least one full color.

"The day's just begun,

already where has it gone?

The sweet dark of tonight

my elixir to make things right

and yes, the next day will surface

with progress stale in my mind"

maryo

The salesman's dirty little ploy

Age has brought wisdom to tread carefully, but not enough wisdom to know precisely what to do.

In bringing a more updated look to our marketing, our papaya boxes are lagging behind. Our old box manufacturer is not to blame, there's only so much you can do with two colors and a print process that make gradients look like vibrations.

From my second day on the job - when one of the sales managers took me aside and showed me a beautiful competitor's box with fruit poised on a wave lapped beach - I've known what the sales team wanted. But boxes are variable costs, add twenty cents costs to each box of a low margin item and you have to question the cost.

And that's what I did, today I questioned the additional cost of twenty cents a box.

The new papaya box project has been going on for quite a while. I first got my hands on the project five days ago. Right away, something didn't quite jibe. The sample box bore a three color process, the specifications only provided measurements and illustration. My calls to customer service ushered in full details on the 3 color process but referred me to the salesman for details about the full color process.

The salesperson was allusive. He was driving could I email what I needed. Oh he got my email but I wasn't clear on... He couldn't find my email could I send him another. He'll send me some info but first I needed to email him again.

Exasperated, I called back customer service. One of the reps let it drop that full color was printed on a wrapper off site and then glued to the box material before cutting. I knew that process meant more than just the little additional cost my folks expected.

When I twisted the salesperson's arm today, he let me know the twenty cents additional costs (approximately, don't hold him to it). I knew he hadn't given us a quote, so he was thinking an additional cost was nothing when you didn't have the base cost to begin with. What's an additional cost, if I had put together some tempting artwork for the box by the time he did get around to giving us a quote.

The salesman's ploy was deeper and darker than a timing issue. He had talked my OPS and Sales VPs into launching a box test. To test the box's stability, unprinted boxes have been sent to Belize for packing and shipping back here. By the time the quote will actually surface our company would be far down the sales path, perhaps too far to hike back out and make the journey with another box manufacturer.

What made his ploy darker, is that the salesperson told me about the box test. He must have hoped my guts level was low, he must have told me thinking that I'd let it slide. Sliding heightens the chances of getting a beautiful new box. It felt a little like blackmail.

Chances are I'll get burned so I choose to get a little charred vs. flamed. I told the Sales VP. I'll be slightly charred if the salesperson comes back with a slimmed down additional costs of say ten cents more. Sales VP's thought process, "Mary chicken little." Better than full flamed, if I let it go and my CEO vetoes the whole thing at the end, somehow I think the salesperson would let it be known that I knew the costs all along.

I'll keep the salesperson in the dark on what I did on his little blackmail bar-be-que grill. I may have chosen charred but the bar-be-que isn't over yet and this salesperson seems to like flipping whatever he's grilling.

"No plastic flowers for my grave,

when silk will only do."

maryo

The consumer mailstream

The United States Postal Service sends out a monthly magazine about direct mail. In this month's issue, they publish what is in their customer's mailstream. They want us marketers to know what our direct mail pieces need to 'stand out against.'

Unfortunately for direct mail's cause, the numbers are showing an overwhelming percent of unwanted mail, direct mail in its various forms (flyers, letter-sized direct mail, donation requests, nonprofit letters, and advertising). And I'm counting catalogs as wanted mail.

I had to do a bit of deciphering. The USPS looking through their own glasses thought that the main criteria for a sort was whether or not the piece of

mail travels first class or standard mail. I don't check whether its first or standard mail before throwing the junk mail in my recycling bin as I go in my back door.

The nice imagery is the USPS's graph. The listing on the left is my own doing.

Not surprisingly when I do the list, the first or standard criteria is kicked out and my list just shows the type of mail in the mailstream( in descending order). Also not surprisingly, direct mail in some of its various forms is at the top.

I massaged the data a bit more, and choose what mail I would want in my mailstream. The 'What this Consumer Cares About' list shows that over half of my mail is something I don't care to look at, and yes I include catalogs in my 'want to look at' list.

Admittedly my mailstream is different, ever since renting a 'Pak Mail' box (not USPS box), I don't get the flyers. I rented a box after my bank checks and then my IRS tax refund got put in my neighbors' mailbox. One neighbor returned it to the post office with the appropriate note only to have it back in her box the next day. Then there was the time an important letter was put between the pages of the advertising circular. It almost got thrown out.

Can you tell I'm not a direct mail fan. My motto, neither a sender or a receiver be.

Modeling agency closes, declaring bankruptcy

Irene Marie Modeling Agency is closing.

They've tried to keep their posh 8th and Ocean* offices on Miami Beach open but the decline in advertising and the thrust to do photography for ads in Africa and Asia has done them in.What?

Something doesn't make sense. A modeling agency is just a collection of talent - it's very important that you have great talent and just as important that great talent want to be with your agency - but a modeling agency is just a collection of talent. In theory you could exist with one model, a web site and an administrative assistant.

Rose, an owner of an agency that places computer technology experts in companies, does just that. She does quite well with her computer, cellphone and a part-time assistant. Her experts work across the nation and she herself works across the globe (not that she's looking to open accounts in Spain, but right now she's enjoying the Spanish Mediterrean coast while working her normal 10 hour days).

If a modeling agency is having revenue problems, why didn't they eliminate some costs: closing their office, offering models to do shoots in Africa. Something's not quite right.

This tells me that business has changed not only for marketing but other industries. Not changing with the times can leave you with what you think are very few options. Option numero uno: opportunities are still there, if you can change.

*the address says it all, their offices have unobstructed ocean views.

Consumer trends for the New Year

No surprise here, the economy will affecting shopping.

Health and wellness concerns were the overriding theme for 2008. With concerns about the global economy, insecure consumers may push back healthier behavior to grapple with the economy's impact on their family life.

Chicago-based Mintel (www.mintel.com) says there are five ways consumers will adapt and businesses can thrive.

1. Consumers are in control: They are confident and demanding about how they live their lives and spend their money. They will seek out products and services that give them exactly what they want and when they want it, especially as their budgets tighten. Give your customers precisely what they want, let them customize to their hearts content.
   
2. Simplify and purify: Consumers will continue to seek convenience and simplicity, demanding honesty and transparency from the companies they buy from.
   
   Cooking at home and gardening will become increasingly popular and help people stretch their budgets further.
   
   For manufacturers, focus on cleaner ingredient labels, positioning fresh, clean and pure as essential values. Brands should communicate what they stand for and how they make life easier. This will earn consumers' trust and loyalty. Create better products for at home dining, relaxation and entertainment, people will be cocooning more.
   
3. Rebuild trust: Crumbling economic markets, food scares and toy safety problems have fueled an era of consumer doubt and insecurity. Consumers will seek out open relationships wherever they can.They want to know all about the products they buy, from where they were sourced to how they were manufactured. They will cling to the long-standing, nostalgic brands they know and love, looking for products with a real sense of familiarity.
   
   Manufacturers need to back up words with actions, conduct business in a more open, honest way. Reassure consumers they are acting in the consumers' best interest. Long-standing brands could move into new markets to exploit their position of trust.
   
4. Trading down (but a little trading up too): As purse strings will continue to tighten. And your consumers may trade down to cheaper store brands and eat out less. But everyone will crave a little treat now and again.
   
   Middle markets will be squeezed and will have to prove its worth. Position products as more affordable way of experiencing a more expensive brand, form of entertainment or eating out at a restaurant.
   
5. Playfulness, lightening the mood: In tough times, people not only crave life's little luxuries, they also need to enjoy themselves. Mintel expects to see a widening range of products that soothe, energize or simply lift the spirits.